


Dreams

by Kiranagi



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: But it's not really mentioned?, Canon Era, Charles has a huge crush on Aaron, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I blanked on a title sorry, I'm pretty sure, Kinda obvious though girl be more subtle, Slight Internalized Transphobia, Trans Character, Trans Charles Lee, how do I even tag this, i think, idk man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 09:26:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14305710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiranagi/pseuds/Kiranagi
Summary: Why don't you cut your hair? We're in a war, for God's sake.""Your hair makes you look like a girl, it's ridiculous!""At this point you'll start getting it tangled in tree branches and things! Just cut it already!"Charles mutters, "Maybe I'd prefer to look like a girl... At least then I'd look like I feel..."





	Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda just a little thing I got an idea for. I honestly don't plan on doing anything more with it, but give me your thoughts! I'd love to hear advice on this because it's a topic I've never written about before ^-^

_"Why don't you cut your hair? We're in a war, for God's sake."_

 

_"Your hair makes you look like a girl, it's ridiculous!"_

 

_"At this point you'll start getting it tangled in tree branches and things! Just cut it already!"_

 

Charles sits at the edge of the stream with a sigh, fiddling with a lock of hair and muttering, "I don't want to cut it, even if it makes me look like a girl... I like it this way..."

 

He bites his lip and looks around, making sure no one is nearby, then takes a yellow ribbon out of his coat and starts carefully braiding his hair, a small smile spreading over his lips as he sees the action reflected in the calm water.

 

Once he's done with the braid and has tied it with the ribbon, Charles pulls some spare wads of cloth out of their hiding spot and carefully tucks them inside his shirt, arranging them so they give the illusion of breasts. He lets out a breath of relief as he looks at his reflection in the stream, it actually seeming to show herself properly, for a rare occasion.

 

Charles mutters, "Maybe I'd prefer to look like a girl... At least then I'd look like I feel..."

 

She picks at her breeches, "I'd really love a skirt, but this is dangerous on its own... If anyone found out what I was doing, I'd probably be killed..."

 

The thought causes her smile to fade and she sits down again, feeling a slight burning behind her eyes, a warning of tears, "I wish I wasn't like this... I wish I was normal... Whether I'd actually feel like I'm supposed to, or if I was born a woman, I don't care... I just wish this horrible feeling would go away..."

 

Twigs snap behind her, and Charles barely has time to look towards the sound before Aaron Burr steps into the clearing, "Lee, are you alright? I head..." The man trails off as he sees Charles, staring at her hair and chest with wide eyes.

 

Charles swallows thickly, feeling her heart hammer in her chest from more than just fear. _'Shit. Shit shit shit nooooo.... Why'd it have to be Aaron, of all people!?'_

 

It takes Aaron a few moments to find his voice again, and when he does, he sounds completely bewildered, "A-are you a girl??"

 

Those four words hit Charles harder than she thought possible, and she has to cover her mouth to stifle a sudden sob, tears welling up in her eyes.

 

Aaron widens his eyes as Charles suddenly drops to her knees, trembling, "L-Lee...?"

 

Charles shakes her head, unable to stop her next words from tumbling out, "I-I'm not... But G-God, d-do I was I w-was..."

 

Aaron furrows his eyebrows, clearly confused, then kneels down next to Charles, "What do you mean...?"

 

Charles feels a flash of shock that the man didn't instantly recoil, but her throat has closed up and she can't seem to choke out anything else, "I-I..."

 

Aaron bites his lip, then gently pulls Charles into a hug.

 

Charles' eyes go wide with surprise and she tenses up a little as her cheeks heat up without permission, "Wh-what...?"

 

Aaron chuckles a little, "Being friends with Alexander makes you a cuddly person, I guess... And you looked like you really needed a hug."

 

Charles swallows thickly, then nods a little, "Y-yeah... I g-guess so..."

 

They just hug for a while, until Charles takes a few deep breaths and manages to find her voice again, "I've never... I've never really felt _right_ as a guy... For as long as I can remember, something just seemed off about it... I _hated_ looking at myself in the mirror... Then, one day when I was like... twelve or thirteen, I got bored and tried on one of my sister's dresses, just for fun." She laughs softly, "Suddenly, that horrible feeling that I got whenever I looked at myself went away a bit... I finally felt somewhat like myself."

 

Aaron frowns, "So when you said you wished that you were a girl...?"

 

Charles pulls away enough to fiddle with her braid, "I really meant it... That's why I grew my hair out so much, it makes me feel like I'm not a stranger in my own body, at least a little..." She looks away, "D-does that make any sense...?"

 

The man doesn't answer, a bit deep in thought, and Charles winces, expecting the worst, "Th-that's really messed up, r-right? I mean, I-I'm a g-guy, I shouldn't h-have a problem with that... Wh-what kind of m-man would rather be a girl?"

 

Aaron snaps out of his thoughts with those words and quickly shakes his head, "It's not messed up. It's a little strange, yeah, but if that's how you feel, then it's how you feel. I don't see a problem with it."

 

Charles looks up, confused, "Y-you don't...?"

 

Aaron shakes his head, "Of course not. Generally, people are horrible to people who are different. But that doesn't mean the people who are different are _bad,_ it just means that everyone else is closed-minded. I say more power to you. If you want to braid your hair and wear a dress and stuff your shirt, go right ahead, as much as you can. If it makes you feel like yourself, then no one really has a right to stop you."

 

Charles's eyes fill with tears again, but this time she's smiling, "A-Aaron..."

  
  
Aaron smiles back, then tilts his head, "And now I'm curious... As a girl, what would you want your name to be?"

 

Charles still seems a bit shocked about all this, but there's no hesitation in her voice as she answers, "Sophia."

 

Aaron gives her a warm look, "That's a really pretty name, Sophia. I like it."

 

The poor girl blushes a little, then leans against Aaron, smiling as the man puts his arm around her and murmuring, "Thank you... Thank you so much..."

 


End file.
